Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Origin of the Orion (Atheist Version)

In the beginning, there wasn’t jack shit. Anyone who says otherwise is full of shit. In some unknown event, the universe burst into being. The first elements of matter expanded at a superfast rate, creating a dimension of time and space. Naturally, the laws of physics already existed. There was also gravity, a natural force of attraction between two material objects. Gravity acted upon the first elements, combining them into clouds then into massive spheres. The massive spheres started a fusion reaction within them and the first stars appeared. Inside the fusion reactors of the stars, new heavy elements were formed. As the stars aged, they began to expel these heavy elements into space. The heavy elements combined to form smaller bodies of matter and gas. Gravity acted on the elements and planets and moons were formed. On some planets, there were great volcanoes, deep seas and vast windswept deserts. On a small, rocky planet orbiting a bright yellow sun was an abundance of elements including carbon and oxygen. By some freak accident involving organic materials and radiation, the earliest forms of life appeared. Somehow, this life form mutated to form DNA, a type of code that allowed the life form to change and spawn new life. Overtime, the life form changed and more DNA was added. Through the process of random mutation and natural selection, the life form evolved and spawned new life. After millions of years of evolution, creatures of all shapes and sizes inhabited nearly every niche of the world. Some swam in the oceans (especially lots of squid), others learned to walk upon the land. Eventually, some of these organisms formed complex biological thinking machines within them. They could look upon the stars with a sense of wonder. They experienced great joy at the birth of a new life. They also experienced sadness and death. They began to think about the world around them. Soon an age of understanding came to be. After thousands of years of evolution and understanding they became masters of their world, which they called Orion. They looked upon the stars and began to wonder if other planets had similar life…

-To appease my atheist readers, I wrote a new version just for them.

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